Abuse is abuse by whatever name its called

You may not ever know for sure whether your abuser is a narcissist but thats not important! 

The one big lesson I had to learn the hard way by being in an abusive relationship with a man who turned out to be narcissistic was that there is no excuse for abuse, its not your problem and not your responsibility to fix his issues and certainly not for you to be used for him to take it out on! 

By all means you can support him if he decides to seek help but he has to do it to help himself and if he doesn't want to get help when knowing that he could lose you, he is certainly not likely to seek help while he knows that you will tolerate it and clearly doesn't care enough about what he is putting you through if he is continuing to behave that way towards you and hasnt tried to get help to stop! Therefore this may well mean he is a narcissist but it doesn't matter what label can be assigned to him as it doesn't make it right nor is it going to give him the excuse to abuse you or be a reason why you have to accept it!

Your life and wellbeing should not have to suffer to accommodate the issues of another person that you are not the cause of!

I believed my ex narcissist boyfriend was damaged by his past and that he would get better in time when the trust grew but he got worse. I then thought that he was suffering from mental illness and most likely schizophrenic so I excused his abusive behaviour and believed it wasn't his fault because he was ill and tried to get him help but he wasnt interested when it came down to it but would promise to do whatever it took for me to not abandon him when I had had enough but he was just keeping me sweet! 

When we separated for a while, in that time he was the perfect person and showed no signs of his abusive behaviour but as soon as I got back with him, it would start all over again…

 I tried everything I could to help him and as a result he destroyed my life by gambling away my life savings, smashing up my home and my personal belongings as well as beating me up and making me feel exhausted, fearful and full of anxiety, not to mention obligated to stand by him as he made me feel guilty that everyone else in his life had abandoned him!

I wrote about my experience so I hope others who are trying to work out whether their abuser is narcissistic or not, will read it and it may give the answers that you need to decide whether you are being subjected to narcissistic abuse or just abuse but above all will realise that you don't have to suffer from abuse of any kind!