One year and five months on

I have been back in the UK now for 17 months and although I have healed and come to terms with all that happened in the main, I still have days that bring out memories that I had forgotten which can make me feel anxious and angry about it all but these feelings are short lived.
As time goes by it does get easier for me to accept that everything that I own is still out of reach and just left there in my home in Bulgaria which is not secure and more than likely has been burgled by the gypsies and more possibly by Valeri who would think nothing of taking whatever he wanted to feed his gambling addiction or to just destroy when in a moment of paranoia and anger and the likelihood of me ever being reunited with my possessions is very slim and with each day that passes even less likely.

Initially when I returned to the UK I had hopes  of being able to go back to my home in Bulgaria but as time has gone on these hopes have faded and I cant see it happening now. My life just feels like it is in limbo and that I am just existing and not living.

It's been a year and 8 months since I was arrested for drug driving and still the results of my blood tests have not been received so this is still hanging over me and I cant move forward until I know what the outcome of this pending trial will be..
Every few months I get an abundance of calls in the middle of the night from a Bulgarian number which I am certain is Valeri but I don't answer and I have had no contact with him now for well over a year but still he persists!

I have absolutely no desire for another relationship with anyone and that includes relationships with my old friends and family who I have just cut myself off from completely!

I still try to remain positive and I am pinning my hopes  on a happy ending for finding a new lease of life and a new direction to go in and I just hope that this comes sooner rather than later and before I just give up on life completely