Why I fell for him!

 At first when I met my now ex narcissist boyfriend, having no real knowledge of narcissism, I misread the signs that were present in hindsight after learning about narcissism. The biggest one being that he was quite bossy and overwhelming at times when he wanted to do something together and he would not take no for an answer but these things were usually very romantic and adventurous like him waking me up in the early hours to go to the beach to watch the sun rise for example or him turning up out of the blue to take me to a local beauty spot regardless of what I was doing at the time.. he would even clean my villa when I was asleep or not home and once rearranged the cupboards of pans, crockery and utensils etc in the kitchen to be more practical for use which although was better organised, I knew where everything was before so it was a little annoying but I saw this as a kind gesture to please me. However in hindsight he was overstepping my boundaries in reality!

His dominant ways I put down to him being a strong man and I found it quite refreshing at first as I was usually the more dominant one in past relationships and the one who was relied on to make suggestions and sort out most things as I am quite a strong independent person and so I felt like he was a God send and it felt great to have someone else take the lead for once and to have met a strong man who was able to take care of me for a change.

He was very persistent in his quest to win me over and he was not deterred by me rejecting his advances in the months that I did and he was not phased by it which I saw as him having the balls to express his feelings without playing games and he remained being a good friend to me regardless of being spurned and just dusted himself off.

He was not pushy and he didn't put pressure on me but he continued to pursue me in ways that were thoughtful and very unconventional which showed him to be very unique and exciting and I would be amazed at how creative his gestures were that were often able to surprise me as they were unpredictable and actually ingenious and showed effort and not material flashy gestures which I had no interest in..

He was extremely handsome and intelligent as well as witty and fun to be with. he seemed to be open and honest as well as have the same core moral standards and outlook on life as I had. He was interested in many similar things as well as different things to me too and so I enjoyed his company and hearing about the things that he knew as well as him being interested in the things that I knew so we would talk about anything and everything for hours on end.

He seemed like the perfect man for me and I eventually started a relationship with him and I felt truly blessed.

Throughout the relationship much of the qualities that I fell for were always there still however there was also another side to him that was abusive and aggressive and when he was in these moods he was like the complete opposite to the person who I thought I knew and loved and he made me feel like he hated me more than anything and was so Controlling and cruel to me inflicting the most painful mental abuse on me relentlessly for hours on end in these times, after which he would go back to being that man I adored and who made me feel adored after the mood had lifted until the next time he would erupt out of the blue!

His abusive behaviour in these bad times escalated within months to him being physically violent towards me but he would always return to the loving man who would do anything for me and who claimed to love me more than anything in the world just as quickly as he could turn into a monster!

That wonderful side of him always returning is what made it so difficult to leave him but I eventually did after a year thankfully as I knew that his abusive behaviour would not ever stop and he was quite capable of killing me in one of those abusive rages.