Sadly I have lost faith in love and romance as the one time I thought it was the real thing and that I had finally met the one who was so perfect for me in every way he turned out to be a narcissist…. When he entered my life he was like the most perfect man in the world! He was kind, considerate and loving. He seemed to have the same morals as me as well as the same interests, intellect and outlook on life. He had experienced many hardships in life that I had such as having an abusive childhood and being cheated on by a partner which I had recently been through and so he was a breath of fresh air in that he was very understanding of how painful these things had been having experienced them himself. He wanted nothing from me at first and he would do whatever he could to make me feel special and to let me know he was thinking of me. He would pick fruit and leave it on my doorstep. He would take me to remote beauty spots to watch the sun rise or set. He would leave little notes for me that would be romantic or play a song that he wanted me to listen to the words of as they were perfect to us and how he felt! He would chop wood and make a fire and we would lie in front of it with a glass of wine just talking and laughing and cuddling up. He would come to my house in the middle of the night and whilst I was sleeping he would make a fire in my bedroom so that I awoke to it being warm and with a flower or some other token of romance left on my pillow to wake up to…. He was everything that I had ever dreamed of as well as so very handsome and he was in love with me. I felt blessed and like I was walking on air and the star of my very own romantic movie… Within months he started to be abusive although he remained to be this perfect man in the times when he wasnt being abusive so I just saw it as he was not perfect, nobody is and his good traits still outweighed his bad side so I just tolerated it. However his abuse got worse and his nice side I was seeing less but nevertheless I was still seeing it!
My ex narcissist boyfriend was the only person who had ever made me feel so very cherished but he was the only person who has ever made me feel so bad and worthless too…
I feel cheated in that the only person who had been the closest thing to what I had always hoped for also turned to be the one person who I hoped to never meet and be made to suffer by…
I doubt that I will ever meet anyone again who will be able to make me feel so happy but I also hope that I never meet anyone who can hurt me so badly and so I expect that if I ever have another relationship it will always be just mediocre…
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