Sunday 1 September 2019

Narcissism is a term that is very misunderstood

Although the term has been around since it was first introduced by the ancient Greeks when according to Greek mythology, narcissus fell in love with his own reflection, narcissism is often misunderstood and is seen in general terms to mean a person who is selfish and self absorbed. Some may be more knowledgeable about the cause of this being due to underlying self esteem and an over inflated ego to compensate for it… thats as far as my understanding went and I too had often misused the term to describe the people who I had come across that were selfish and self centred and those who tended to feel the need to boast about themselves and their material riches in favour of acknowledging the qualities and riches of others! I had no idea how much more to it there was or how damaging these people could be until I ended up in a relationship with a narcissist boyfriend! In fact I was so ignorant to what a narcissist was that it wasn't until the relationship was over that I was to realise that his abusive behaviour was not because of his bad childhood which he had not yet processed in adulthood or because he was suffering from mental illness of which I was almost certain he was and most likely schizophrenia!
Sadly because of these reasons I tolerated more than I should have as although I was fully aware that his behaviour was abusive, I had the attitude of this being something that he was not responsible for as he was ill and with the right support from me, he could eventually overcome his problems in time and we could go on to live a happy life together! It was only when I had exhausted every possible option to get him the help I believed he needed and I had started to suffer with my own mental health problems as a result that I had no choice but to leave him and this was something I saw as temporary until I was back to full strength and I would be able to keep trying to help him! Whilst searching for answers I stumbled across the traits of a narcissist and I was horrified to find that he ticked every box of being a narcissist! I was so horrified that I then researched it more and more with the goal being for me to discount it as the reason why he was as he was. The more I learned the more I could not get away from the realisation that he was a narcissist and he was beyond my help and I have suffered from his mental and physical abuse for no other reason than the fact he was a narcissist!

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Overview

I am an English lady who lived in Bulgaria for 18 months which sadly did not turn out as I had hoped. I was not new to Bulgaria'...