Everything went wrong and I felt doomed

After having a few hours sleep in the car in the car park in Obzor, I felt more in control and more clear headed and so I made the decision that I was not going to return to Byala again as so far luck had been on my side for managing to avoid the police as well as Valeri... I wasn't going to tempt fate and go back now. I had the documents I needed, some clothes and a quilt so nothing else was important enough for me to take the risk of going back for.

I now had to try and find someone who would lend me just enough money for petrol to drive myself to the British Embassy in Sofia, a distance of over 450km and a 5 hour drive. From there I was sure that I would find a way to get home and would be safe!

I had quarter of a tank of petrol and 20 lvs which meant I could get a little way further towards getting myself on the right course home for now so I headed off towards Sunny Beach which was 50km and from there I could get on the road to Sofia once I found someone to lend me the petrol money.

I arrived at Sunny Beach at about 8am and parked up by the beach to take a walk with Lula and think about my options.

I went to buy some breakfast with some of the 20lv I had left and noticed that my bank card was not in my purse...

I went back to the car and searched for it but I couldn't find it. I went through all my stuff and searched the car again, under the seats and everywhere but I couldn't find it! I retraced my steps to the beach and the breakfast kiosk but I couldn't find it!

I just kept saying to myself over and over again "no no no! This cant be happening"!

I felt sick and was in total panic at the realisation that the  card was definitely not in the car after I had searched for it over and over again.
I tried to recall when I last had it but I couldn't think straight as as far as I could remember it should have been in my purse where it always is and if its not then surely I must have left it in the apartment but I didn't remember taking it out of my purse at the apartment or at any time when I was in Byala.

I knew however that I had no choice but to go back to Byala to look for it!

I had no money in my account but without my bank card there was no way I could get hold of any money if I found someone who would lend me some by transferring it to my account which I knew that I had to find someone who was willing to do this if I was to have any chance of getting to Sofia to the British Embassy.

I sat in the car and I  just cried and cried as I couldn't help but think I was not going to be so lucky and was chancing the odds on returning to Byala and I was taking a huge risk of being caught driving by the police who would confiscate this car too as well as landing myself in more trouble for driving on a ban, not to mention that Valeri could well be there just waiting for me in which case I would be in serious danger with no way of escaping him again.

I didn't have another choice though and I had to go back. I just hoped and prayed that my bank card was there in the apartment. It had to be!

I had to go back so I turned around and drove the 50km back to Byala and was filled with total dread the whole journey. I didnt dare let myself think for one moment of the possibility that I would not be successful and I convinced myself that it had to be in the apartment and it had probably just fallen out of my purse which was more than likely seeing as I had been without electricity and had to sit in darkness in the evenings and left when it was dark too.

I had 15 lvs left and I had to use this for petrol to get back to where I had started from and I wasnt even sure that I would have enough petrol to get all the way back.

I had momentarily felt a glimmer of hope that I was finally safe when I arrived at Sunny Beach just an hour or so earlier only to find myself back in shit again and now having to go right back into the danger zone and straight back into the state of fear and anxiety!