Instead of better it got worse

Sadly all my best efforts and compromises did not seem to make the relationship better.

In fact his insecurities became worse. As did his insults, his aggressive behavior and his controlling manner!

Valeri had a problem with being photographed and although I was aware of it, I was not aware of the extent of it. Afterall I had taken photos of him before and if he did not like them, I deleted them but being such a handsome man, he was extremely photogenic and most of the time he agreed that my photos of him were beautiful.

He then started to accuse me of taking pictures of him just to make him look ugly and one evening whilst in one of his insecure moods demanded that I delete every picture I had taken  of him and told me to never take a photo of him again.

I did as he asked but pointed out that this was just his paranoia and that every picture I had ever taken of him I thought was amazing as he was so very handsome.

Within a few days he was ok again and said he hadnt meant it and was sorry.

However one day  quite soon after, I was taking photos and took a photo of him which at first he demanded to see which after he did, he seemed no longer concerned, even saying he liked it.

Later that evening he asked me for my phone and said he wanted to delete the ugly picture of him as he had told me to never take a photo of him again..

I objected at first and told him he was being silly as he saw the picture less than a few hours before and had liked it. However eventually I deleted the photo to keep the peace in a hope to stop it escalating!

Nevertheless he took my phone from me anyway and left the room and locked the door!

When he came back in, he handed me a box in which was my phone he had smashed to pieces!

I was utterly shocked by this and lost for words.

I couldnt quite believe that he had gone this far over something I felt was no big deal especially after I had deleted the photo and apologised for my mistake!

He said that he had warned me before not to take photos of him so the fault was all mine!

I needed some time alone as I just couldnt get my head around it so I asked if he would leave me alone for a while to get my thoughts together as I was struggling to understand why he had done this as I did not see how he could justify smashing up my phone over a picture he earlier had no issue with and if he subsequently did, then why after me deleting it and apologising for offending him, had he not been able to act in a civilised manner and stop it escalating, resulting in him destroying my phone.

My phone was crucial to me as it was my only contact with my friends and family in the UK as well as for my personal business such as online banking, company accounts and business transactions.

Therefore his explanation being that he had warned me before to not take photos of him again I did not feel justify his actions....

Of course he did not leave when I asked so I refused to talk to him and said if he wouldn't leave then he would have to accept that I would rather not talk about it until I had digested it as no matter what he said, at this time, I was struggling to understand and accept what made him feel it was acceptable to choose that route and smash my phone to pieces when knowing that without it, I was unable to speak to my family or access my bank accounts or company files and was generally screwed without it!

Initially he started to accuse me of only being upset that he smashed my phone  as it was expensive because I was materialistic but he quickly backed off from taking that path when I just glared at him in disbelief!

In hindsight, he knew he had overstepped the mark and the problems it would cause me as he was fully aware that my phone was vital to me especially as I was living in Bulgaria and was my only source of contact with the UK!

A few hours later he was in tears about how he hated pictures of himself as he was ugly and was full of pity for himself for the hard life he had led!

He said he was just upset about the picture as he felt insecure! One reason for that being we hadnt had sex and he thought it was because I wasnt attracted to him.
He claimed he was just making a point with smashing the phone and did not see it as causing a big problem as I had plenty of money to replace it.

The bottom line was Valeri was feeling insecure! He felt like he was not good enough for me and that I would leave him and he had got himself into a state and wanted my attention and reassurance but had gone about it all the wrong way!

I am not one to hold grudges and so I eventually succumbed to his sorrowful demeanour and after hearing him crying on the floor at the foot of my bed for hours, I felt sorry for him and not anger so I gave him a hug, reassuring him that I understood he had been through a lot and thats why he didnt always act in the way he should and that I was not going to hold it against him that he smashed up my phone and just hoped that we would sort out the problems in the future without him needing to get himself into a state and doing silly things instead of just trust me and talk to me about it!

Valeri was just so sweet and almost childlike as he sobbed in my arms. I really felt like he was in love with me and only made these silly mistakes as he had not encountered these feelings before and was unsure about how to handle them.

He was afterall relatively inexperienced in relationships and was still very young so I made allowances for his behaviour!

That night was the first time we made love.. it felt right and it felt deep and like we had really connected and I was sure that now all our teething problems would be behind us..





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Overview

I am an English lady who lived in Bulgaria for 18 months which sadly did not turn out as I had hoped. I was not new to Bulgaria'...