Time out!

Although Valeri was not being horrible anymore, I couldn't totally relax and felt anxious that he could turn again at any time. I was tired and feeling unwell but I didn't feel like I could go to sleep and let my guard down.

While he slept I just sat in the garden knowing that the gate was locked and feeling full of resentment towards him as I wanted some space away from him to think clearly but knew I couldn't even have that!

I asked him if I could take Lula for a walk while he slept but he said we would both take her together later. I asked if I could go to the shop to get a few things which he agreed to but when I said I would take Lula with me, he said that Lula should stay there as we were going to take her out later together!

Reluctantly I agreed and he unlocked the gate and let me go out. I screamed at the top of my voice when I was out of earshot from the villa about how much I fucking hated him! All I wanted was some time alone!

The shop was no more than a 10 minute walk and on my way back he called me to see where I was. I was minutes from the villa and felt like I had to run after I got off the phone to him in case he started to get paranoid and accuse me of taking too long and inevitably would presume that in a few minutes I could have been with another man..

When I got to the gate I pushed it and it opened despite it being locked after I left. I pulled it closed again and called him to say I was outside and could he unlock the gate to let me in thinking if he thought it was locked too I didnt want him to know it opened when pushed! He came and unlocked it and locked it again once I was inside but it gave me a moment of hope that I could leave when he was asleep again.

He didn't go back to sleep again that day and he cooked for us and then later that day we went out together to walk Lula and he was being great so I played the grateful dutiful girlfriend the whole time, praising him and thanking him every step of the way as I knew that the moment he was off guard I would leave and could leave as the gate did not seem to lock as he thought it did!

The next morning I woke up early and while he was still asleep me and Lula left. I took nothing with me except my phone and purse in case he woke up as we were leaving so I could easily explain it away.

It took me a few attempts to walk to the gate and finally push it open as I figured that if he saw me from the window on the first attempts he would run down after me to see what I was doing but he didnt so after a couple of dummy runs, I pushed the gates and me and Lula ran like hell and didnt stop until we was at least 10 minutes away from the villa.

I had no plan of where to go and headed off in the direction of Golden Sands to begin with  which was a few miles walk but I changed my mind and then decided to walk in the other direction and after walking nearly 10 kms we arrived at Saint Constantine.

He rang me not long after and I told him that I just wanted a bit of space as I was tired and felt unwell and needed to think after him turning on me. He asked where I was and I said Golden Sands! He asked when I would be back and I said I dont know! He seemed ok with this and even apologised for the day he was horrible and said he loved me and hoped that I would come back to him later and I knew then I could relax and I had bought myself some time!

I didn't know what I wanted to do and hadnt had the energy to even think it through properly and now I felt it was something I could do without the pressure and constant demands on my time that Valeri made.