Finally I was making progress

I stayed in the basement apartment for three days before feeling the need to change accommodation due to it being so warm in there and after having a scare that made me on edge..

The two gates to enter the garden were locked and so I felt safe to leave the apartment door open one night as it was so hot but the next morning I woke up as I heard someone in the apartment and instantly my first thoughts were that it was Valeri and it sent me into sheer panic!

I turned out to be the cleaner but nevertheless it had put me on edge enough to want to find another place to stay as I knew that I would feel safer being in an apartment that was not at ground level.

For the same price I found us another apartment for the next three days that was on the top floor of a secure apartment building in the centre of Varna.  It was twice the size of the Golden Sands apartment and felt huge after the basement apartment. It had a really good vibe about it as it was spacious and bright with funky decor as well as having all the mod cons such as all the movie channels which was a much needed and welcome distraction for me to switch off in the evenings and have some normality again.

Lula and I would snuggle up on the couch and watch a comedy movie in the evenings and I felt the anxiety just drain away and like my old self again in no time of being there who was more than capable of getting us out of this mess now!

I had been in touch with the British Embassy who could arrange emergency travel documents for me to collect in Sofia to get back to the UK just as soon as I was able to let them know how and when I had figured out the way to get home.

My car was fixed and ready for collection and my dad had agreed to pay the bill on his credit card which I would repay once I was back in the UK and could access the £6000 I had in an account there that I needed to go into the branch in person to get it.

The police had said that I could leave the country to renew my passport so long as I agreed to return asap to face the charges against me but I was not permitted to drive myself.

My ex boyfriend said that he would be happy to fly out and drive my car back if I raised the money to enable him to do so.

Seeing as I had £6000 waiting for me on my return to England, I felt sure that I would find someone who would lend me the money to make this happen!

Sadly though I was very much mistaken and I couldn't find a single person who would help me by lending me the money despite me being able to pay it back as soon as I was home!

I left messages after messages for my brother and my sister whom I knew both had the money to lend me and both of whom I had helped out numerous times in the past but they just ignored my calls and didn't even bother to call me back!

I called my old boss and long term friend Richard who initially agreed to help me but then changed his mind!

I just couldn't understand what the hell was going on until I spoke with my ex boyfriend who said that noone was going to lend me the money as my stepmother was convinced I was mentally ill and I was not to be trusted and to be given no more money as my father had already lent me a substantial amount and my brother apparently had left messages for me before I left Valeri to say he would come and get me but I hadn't responded.. I never got the messages as clearly Valeri had intercepted them but of course noone believed me when I said this!

I tried to explain to them all whatever they wanted to know but they didn't listen..

My friend Richard said he would pay for my flight home but I refused to leave Lula in a dog home and would not even consider leaving without her which just made me seem more crazy in their eyes!

I asked my ex boyfriend if his family would lend me the money but his reply was that after what I had done to him there was no way they would help me...

After what I had done to him??? As far as I was concerned it was him who had done wrong by me and not the other way round. However it came to light that his family were of the opinion that I was responsible for the mess he was in when he returned to England and the fact he had cheated on me repeatedly during our relationship was irrelevant!!

I just lost it and I vented my anger on him by insulting not only him but his entire family too which resulted in him telling me that he would not help me now either and I was on my own!

Without any money or noone to help me, I had no choice but to drive the car back to Byala and to my apartment as at least then I had a place to stay and if I got caught driving by the police then so be it as I really didn't have a choice!

I knew Valeri was no longer in the apartment in Golden Sands as the owners contacted me to say he hadn't paid the rent and could I pay it which I refused so they asked him to leave! I knew he would therefore come to Varna to his grandmothers before he would return to Byala which meant I no longer felt safe in Varna but I would have a few days in Byala before he could catch up with me!

At this point I felt like I was starting to go crazy and in sheer desperation. I was so fucking angry with everyone that I no longer gave a shit about the consequences and as far as I was concerned I would do what I had to do to get myself out of this nightmare alone and everyone now could all go and fuck themselves as far as I was concerned as they were just adding to the problem.

I got to the apartment after dark and had driven the back roads to get into Byala undetected by the police. I hid my car and walked to the apartment only to find the electric had been cut off!

Although it felt like yet another kick in the teeth at first, I did start to feel that perhaps it wasnt a bad thing as noone would know we were there and all I wanted to do was sleep anyway!