The worst 12 hours of my life

I walked towards Varna and had got about 3 miles when I was able to get a bus the rest of the way.

I called my dad back once on the bus and he put my stepmother on the phone who told me that I needed to see a doctor as soon as possible as it was clear that I was not in a good place and I needed to get professional help to calm me down and back to thinking straight before doing anything else.

Yes I was distraught and anxious as she rightly pointed out but as far as I was concerned I had every reason to be this way as I had been living in hell for months and now I had escaped from him and had no choice but to leave my dog for fear of my life and now I was in fear of the safety of my dog so as far as I was concerned going to see a doctor was not my top priority right now!

Nevertheless she would not let up with her diagnosis that I was mentally ill which I knew I was not and in fact felt like I was acting perfectly normal for a person in my position but she kept saying that I was behaving in a way that was far from normal and because I was so mentally ill I was unable to see this.. I needed help from them and not a doctor as I was not mentally ill but under immense pressure and in a life threatening situation but I had no choice but to agree with her in the end to get her off my back and I said I would go to the hospital straight away which I had no intention of doing!

I put the phone down and felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall!

As far as I was concerned I was actually in a far better state of mental health than I should have been and thinking clearly enough to have kept myself safe from a man who was quite capable of killing me but not only did I have that to deal with, I had been forced to leave my dog which I would never have done unless I didnt have a choice which surely my family had to realise meant that I was in a complete state of worry about.

I wasn't being believed by my own family who had decided that I was mentally ill and I knew that it was useless to waste my time trying to convince them otherwise as I had to find a way to get my dog out of there before Valeri took out his rage for me on her!

I went to Varna police station and asked if they spoke English and after waiting for ages, a police officer came to speak to me who spoke some English. I explained that I had left my boyfriend in Golden Sands and he had my dog and I needed help to get her back.. he just said that it wasn't a police matter! Rather than waste my breath justifying why I thought it was, I just got up and left!

I needed to find a place to stay and then I was going back for my dog and if that meant I ended up getting severely hurt by Valeri then so be it!

I was past caring now and just thought fuck you all to my family, police and to Valeri!

Valeri was calling me and txting me incessantly with threats to kill me and to tell me that Lula was distraught as I had left her and that she was his dog now and I would never see her again!

I rang him after hours of ignoring him and said to him in a voice that he had never heard me speak in before that if he hurt my dog I swear to god that I will hunt him down and kill him.. and I  meant it and I think he knew I meant it!

My dad transferred some money to my account once he thought I was off to see a doctor so by the time I found a place to stay the buses had stopped running so I had no choice but to wait until the morning to get a bus back to Golden Sands to get my dog.

I couldn't sleep and cried most of the night as I knew that she would be scared and that he would be screaming and raging and was very capable of hurting her and I believed he would no doubt have done so if she wasnt his only bargaining chip he could use now to entice me back! However I still kept thinking in the back of my mind that he could have hurt her and quite possibly could have killed her as a way of venting his anger about me!

I also felt so alone and very disappointed with my family not only for believing that I was mentally ill but for leaving me to deal with it and alone in Bulgaria when they believed I was mentally ill!

The night dragged and I just paced up and down just trying not to think the worst and I couldn't relax or stop myself from worrying about what could be happening to Lula. I felt terrible  about having to leave her and I just prayed she was going to be ok. I got the first bus to Golden Sands the following morning at 5.15am with a knife in my bag and nothing was going to stop me from getting my dog back if she was still alive and if she had been hurt by him I knew that I would end up killing him.

As a last resort I called 112 (emergency services in Bulgaria) when I reached Golden Sands as I was terrified of what may happen or what I would find on returning to the apartment. I explained that I was going to the apartment where my abusive boyfriend was to get my dog and was scared so if he had done something to her or tried to attack me when I went to get her then I would stab him. The call handler was actually very helpful for once and told me to go to Golden Sands police station and ask them to accompany me to get my dog. I went to Golden Sands police station and at first they refused to help me so I rang the call handler again and told him this and he then spoke to the police at Golden Sands who finally agreed to accompany me to the apartment.
I was still very frightened even with the police there and I just hoped that I wasn't too late to  get Lula out safely.

As we reached the apartment the policeman tried the door and it was open so they went in first and Valeri was past out in the bedroom and snoring away and Lula was on the chair in the lounge and was so happy to see me that she was running around the apartment like crazy and I feared he would wake up.  I was able to get Lula who was as ecstatic to see me as I was her as well as grab a bag of my clothes that were by the door. My other belongings including my wash bag and laptop were in the bedroom but I didn't want to go in there to get them for fear of Valeri waking up.

We were only there a few mins and got out without Valeri waking up and realising that we were there.

The policeman flagged down a taxi outside the apartment and told him that he had to take me and my dog to Varna which the taxi driver agreed to without any argument despite the rules being no dogs allowed in the taxi.

I gave the taxi driver 20lv for his trouble and he was over the moon.

I was finally safe and I felt safe as well as relief to have Lula with me and to be away from Valeri for good this time!