Jekyll and Hyde

Valeri was going from being the most kindest and loving boyfriend to the most cruel and abusive bastard on a daily basis.

All would be great and for what seemed like no reason at all he would just turn and launch into being a nasty, aggressive and spiteful asshole.

Most, if not all of what he attacked me for was in his head such as accusing me of saying something that was abusive to him like calling him a bastard when I had not even said a word.  He would then call me a liar and insist that he heard me say it when I had not even spoke!

A man in a car would drive by and if I happened to glance over in that direction, he would say that I obviously knew the man and was sleeping with him.

There was also the allegations that I was in cahoots with many people in the town that he saw as against him, and even that I was behind it all to destroy his life.

I hardly knew anyone in the town, could just about get by speaking in Bulgarian and rarely went anywhere without him being with me or following me, let alone be the head of a secret service organization that he was the target of!

It was as if he was two different people and the change would take place so suddenly that I felt on edge and anxious most of the time in anticipation of it!

His face, voice and even the way he walked was different and I did not recognise the Valeri I thought I knew when he was angry and in this paranoid delusional mode.

He was like Jekyll and Hyde!

This Hyde side of Valeri I hated and this Valeri made me feel frightened, scared and anxious as this Valeri could not be reasoned with and capable of anything.

I could not even speak to answer the questions and allegations that he bombarded me with, being shouted down and told that he was talking and I would listen until he said I could speak but even then whatever I said he would scream at me that I was provoking him to do something bad as without even hearing me out he would say I was lying as he answered for me!

He would say that he could see in my eyes and body language that I was guilty, even believing that he had a special gift that noone else had to see the truth!

I had never lied, cheated or done any of the things that he was so sure I had done and he even discounted the hard facts that clearly made his already wild accusations unfounded.

I was accused, tried, sentenced and punished without having any say in it whatsoever for the most heinous crimes!

When he calmed down and snapped out of it, it was as if it had never happened and I was once again his beautiful amazing lady.

When Valeri was Valeri again, I would try to explain that I felt fearful and anxious when he was not himself but he would gloss over it and say that I had nothing to fear, even laughing at the idea that I felt that way!

He did not seem to understand that I had an issue with being made to feel that way because of his behaviour and instead it was as if I was now being denied how I felt  because he didn't think I should feel that way!