Christmas was ruined

Valeri did not stop with his accusations or insults and I felt as if he did not even bother to try to stop after all we had agreed on.

I was walking on eggshells as I wanted to have a good first Christmas in my new home to compensate for the shitty time I had had so far!

Christmas eve we had planned to go to Varna to get Christmas food and drink and to get a Christmas tree.

We were going to decorate the tree, cook a meal, drink some mulled wine and spend the evening together and wake up to watch the sunrise on Christmas day.

We were both looking forward to it or so I thought but that morning he started an argument and took off in my car and did not return that day.

I was unable to get the things I wanted for Christmas and spent Christmas Eve alone.

I made the best of it as I was determined not to let him spoil it for me or to allow myself to get upset about it as I already felt down about being alone at Christmas in a foreign country without friends and family around.

Christmas morning I woke up to watch the sun rise, had festive music playing and then went for a walk on the beach.

When I returned he was at the villa. I was cool and said if he wanted an argument then I was not prepared to do so as it was Christmas so he could either stay and we get on or go.

He chose to stay and in an attempt to keep the peace and salvage the day, I did not ask where he had been or say anything about him taking off in my car.

We returned to the beach as it was a lovely warm sunny day. Valeri went for a skinny dip and seemed in a jovial mood so after we went for a walk in the vineyards.

He then started again accusing me of doing things that I had not done so I headed back to the car and refused to get drawn into it.

When he reached the car I was assertive and said he could either drop this shit and just get in the car or I would just leave and go home.  I pointed out that this was my first Christmas in a foreign country and I wanted to make the best of it! He seemed to not care less about my situation and instead made a comment that he had been alone at Christmas many times so it was no big deal and so he couldn't care less!

I bit my tongue. He got in the car and we were going to go home and cook a meal.

On the way back I suggested making Chicken Kavarma (a Bulgarian dish similar to casserole) seeing as we had nothing in for a Christmas dinner.

At this he got angry. He demanded I stop the car and he then got out, said he couldnt do this anymore and walked off!

I said nothing at all and just let him go and went home!

I had a couple of glasses of wine and a bath and went to bed early feeling totally deflated but I had made up my mind that the relationship was over..
I woke the next morning to find Valeri standing over me with a flower and breakfast and a look of love in his eyes. He told me he had been watching me sleep and how beautiful I looked.

He was of course very apologetic about his behaviour the previous day and begged me for forgiveness. His explanation being he was tired and thus felt insecure and paranoid but now he had slept well he realised that he had been an idiot to act that way and could I give him the chance to make it up to me.

I knew deep down I did not want a relationship with him any longer but I ended up saying that I thought we should consider putting things on hold and go back to being friends as I felt like I was on a emotional rollercoaster ride and I was not sure whether I needed the aggravation and felt I needed to protect myself from being hurt.