Why I didnt give up on Valeri

I was very frightened of Valeri after he had hit me and knew until I could get him the help I thought he needed for mental illness that I would have to walk on eggshells for fear of being hurt again if he had another paranoid delusional episode which I believed was something that was  out of his control and something he feared too.

I was certain that he was suffering with paranoid schizophrenia as I knew about the illness due to having a brother who has the illness and who, for years went through hell before he was diagnosed.

In those year's before being diagnosed, he had done many bad things and had seriously hurt people (although never me) when he was having an episode of paranoid delusions and like Valeri he would hate himself for it after the delusions had past.

These things he did were all because he was frightened for his life and therefore felt that he had to protect himself from the perceived danger that he was in.

As a result he was feared and seen as a violent animal and spent the best part of his teenage years and early twenties in and out of prison.

I saw in Valeri from the outset that he was clearly a tortured soul and clearly suffering with paranoia!

I also saw the fear in him that I had seen in my brother as well as the outbursts of aggression followed by the moments of remorse.

My brother was outcast by the family and the community because his illness was undetected for years so was misunderstood just as I thought Valeri was.

My brother had suffered from being both physically and sexually abused as a child and the similarities between what Valeri had told me had happened to him in his life and what my brother had endured were uncanny.

I didnt give up on my brother and for that Im glad as he did finally turn the corner once he had the help and support he needed.

Valeri had noone and was living in a country where mental illness was not well understood and seen as a burden on society and I felt that for years he had already suffered  unnecessarily due to the draconian stigmas towards mental illness in Bulgaria.

I thought that with the right help and support he too could live a happy life that he had so far been denied due to an illness that could be and would have been treated if he had been born elsewhere in Europe where mental health care was more readily available to all.

It was because of these reasons that I felt obliged to help him and that I should at least try as I would not have been able to live with myself if I turned my back on him despite being aware that it wasn't my problem but he had noone else who was going to help him so I endured more than I should have and wanted to endure because of it!